You make sure to get 8 hours every night, but still wake up exhausted. You cancel a plan or two, but still feel overwhelmed. Maybe you even add some vitamins to the mix but your body doesn’t seem to care.
If this sounds relatable…you might be trying to solve the wrong kind of tired with the wrong kind of rest.
In my practice (and in my experience as a fellow human being) I’ve noticed there’s a perception that ‘not being at work’ is the same as ‘resting’ (thanks capitalism). True rest, like most things to do with the human body, is much more nuanced.
Rest is not a luxury. It’s a necessity. If you imagine that you’re a walking, talking Tamagotchi (showing my age?) with bars for each area of rest, it would be easier to notice when they became depleted. Of course, we don’t have that ability. Nor do we have the privilege of growing up in a society that encourages rest or listening to the body in any way.
From a young age we’re taught to ignore ourselves. At school, if you need to use the toilet? Nope. You have to go during designated times only. As a child at the dinner table, not hungry? Tough. You have to clear your plate and overfill your belly. As an adult, have a job, but not feeling 100%? Doesn’t matter – plaster the feeling with medication and get to work. As a parent, exhausted but the dishes still need doing? No-one else is going to do them, no village is going to show up – who needs sleep?
Is it any wonder that it’s becoming more difficult for us to know or trust what our body needs from us? It’s a dangerous game to play though – ignoring the signs of our body isn’t just risking burning out – we risk losing ourselves entirely.
Saundra Dalton-Smith, M.D., the author of ‘Sacred Rest’, tells us ‘rest is the most underused, chemical-free, safe and effective, alternative therapy available to us.’ Great, sounds good. So what do we actually need to do to rest properly? How do we know what kinds of rest we might be missing out on?
1. Physical Rest
This is much more than sleep (although this can be part of it) – it can include deep breathing, gentle movement and stretching, and giving the body whatever it might need to heal. Sometimes, this means lying down. Other times, it’s walking.
Questions to ask yourself/your body:
When did I last let my body truly stop?
Which part of me feels that it might benefit from being stretched or massaged?
Do I confuse collapse with rest?
2. Mental Rest
Your brain is juggling tabs like a browser with 147 windows open. Mental rest means creating breathing space between thoughts – less input, fewer decisions. Less reactivity, more responsiveness.
Try this:
Micro-pauses, taking a breath before making a decision, journaling, brain dumps.
Can you schedule ‘think less and notice more’ time into your day?
3. Sensory Rest
Lights, screens, noise, notifications, traffic, smells. Your nervous system is on fire just thinking about it. Sensory rest is about silence, dimness, and the absolute luxury of nothing demanding your attention.
Tiny reset challenge:
Unplug the TV. Silence your notifications. Close your eyes for 30 seconds. Notice how loud your life has become. What is your body telling you about this?
4. Emotional Rest
This is the rest that comes from being your authentic self. It means not performing, not pleasing, not absorbing and taking responsibility for everyone else’s emotions.
Ask yourself:
Where do I feel safe enough to tell the truth? To be myself? To take off the mask?
Is this feeling my feeling or is it someone else’s feeling I’m taking unnecessary responsibility for?
When is the last time I said no?
5. Social Rest
Not all socialising is draining – but if you’re always ‘on,’ you might need space to recalibrate and reset. Social rest may mean solitude, or time with people who energise rather than extract.
Questions to ask yourself/your body:
Who feels like ‘home’?
When was the last time you allowed yourself to put down the idea of being interesting to others?
6. Creative Rest
Your cup needs refilling. Creativity is something that adults can easily lose – desk jobs and commutes aren’t very creative but they do consume a lot of time. Creative rest might mean nature, art, beauty, dance, theatre, music or simply being present without trying to make something. Creative rest can be simply looking at a beautiful view (without feeling that the only way to validate it is to post it on Instagram).
Questions to ask yourself/your body:
When is the last time you enjoyed something without producing anything in return?
When is the last time you felt awe or admiration?
7. Spiritual Rest
A sense of connection. For some, this is prayer or meditation. For others it’s ritual, or the act of remembering that they are part of something bigger. It doesn’t need to be a god, it can be nature or humanity.
Questions to ask yourself/your body:
When do I feel most connected to life, meaning, or something sacred?
Rome wasn’t built in a day. Try choosing just one type of rest from the list above and give yourself permission to try it this week. Maybe you mute your WhatsApp notifications for an hour. Maybe you say no when someone wants to task you with doing something. Maybe you go and stand outside and soak up the natural world around you.
Rest doesn’t have to be an all-inclusive holiday in the Maldives, or a full social media detox (although that might be nice). We’re so used to ‘earning’ our rest. What if you decide it’s something that you’re just allowed to have?
Try it. Notice what your body says to you.
Happy resting.
Insightful Life 
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