Sometimes Feel Like You’re Not Fully ‘Here’? It Might be Dissociation…

Ever felt like you’re watching your life from the outside? Like you’ve zoomed out and everything is happening around you but not to you?

This very common, but ultimately weird and unsettling experience is called dissociation. It tends to happen on a scale – if you’ve ever driven somewhere and realised you can’t recall the journey at all – that’s a frequently experienced form of dissociating, usually (but not always) not related to trauma, just your brain taking a ‘back seat’ (no pun intended).

On the other end of the scale? Feeling like you’re not real, or that life is a simulation. Depersonalisation, and derealisation. Really challenging to live with, borne from trauma and yet ultimately, often a ‘safer’ way of experiencing life – it’s your brain’s way of protecting you from big feelings or traumatic memories.

It’s a survival strategy. One that your brain and body employ when they have run out of other options. And yet – it’s not always obvious. People can live with it for years without having any idea what it is.

Common signs of dissociating are:

If you’ve experienced significant trauma, or repeated trauma over time, you are much more likely to develop this way of coping. For instance – if you had an abusive childhood (including being neglected, emotionally or physically), were in the care system, have suffered a significant death such as a parent or baby/child…dissociating might be your brain’s go-to.

On the outside? You look like you’re fully functioning. Go to work, make the meals, laugh at jokes. On the inside? A whole other story. Like watching yourself from a birds eye view, or through frosted glass.

The good news – it can absolutely get better. It is understandable and treatable, with the right support. A trauma-informed therapist is a must, especially if they specifically state they have experience working with dissociation.

If you want to find your way back to yourself, and start living a life that actually feels like yours…make those steps to getting some help. This is something I work with regularly, and if I’m not best suited to your needs? I’m happy to recommend others who can support with this too.

When you’re ready – I’m here. You can learn more about how I work here or reach out to me for a 20-minute introductory call.

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Thanks for reading. If something in this piece stirred something in you, or you’re wondering what it might be like to explore these themes in therapy, you’re welcome to reach out. I offer sessions in-person at the therapy and counselling centre I run in Cheshire, and a limited amount of online sessions across the UK. You can find out more by heading to Insightful Life – Therapy & Counselling Centre